Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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