actually, I'm a sock model
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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