We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
