think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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