I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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