Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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