I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
