I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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