the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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