Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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