piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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