how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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