what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
