Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
