Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
are you so shy because you have an std?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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