i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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