and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think people are normalizing furries
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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