I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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