My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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