Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
