Who did Billy Mays play for?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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