Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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