I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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