My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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