You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
