$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
