I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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