This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
