Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
