I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Non-Jews are for practice
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
