how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
