You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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