do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize