What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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