Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
