woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize