I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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