I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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