so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
