It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
