Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
