It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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