Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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