I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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