how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You have to summon your inner elephant
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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