Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
