this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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