He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
