He uses pillows to masturbate.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
