# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
