He kissed a someone with a penis
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
