I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
this beer tastes like vomit already
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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