Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
