So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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