oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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