The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
