If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
