she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
