Only a mothe r could love this liver
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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