My hair reeks of homosexuality.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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