Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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