I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
