Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
