Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My pussy is not your playground.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
