Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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