This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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